Life’s complicated. It’s amazing, awesome, wonderful, special, fun, challenging, emotional, entertaining, cool, rad, epic… It’s frigging dynamic, that’s what it is. Which in itself is awesome if you ask me. And guess what? If life is constantly changing and progressing, don’t you think you should be too? If you aren’t constantly trying to reinvent and redefine yourself, you are going to feel stuck. If you are reading this, then there’s a good chance that you too have seen the light and you want more. You know you are capable of more. But some days finding what the hell that “more” is, can be difficult. Try these awesome tricks for manifesting your badass self.
There is no handbook for life. Sure, lot’s of people act like they have your answer. But in reality...No one does. Not even you. Because there isn’t one perfect answer. Life isn’t a true false test. You win some. You lose some. You learn. You change. You keep trying.
With enough perspective and determination, you start to value yourself enough to assimilate the knowledge you have gained and get hungry enough to seek out more knowledge. And repeat over and over and over again.Seek Knowledge...Assimilate...Apply...Grow...Change...Seek KnowledgeClick To Tweet
This circle doesn’t end. And if it does, you become the worst thing ever… You Become Stagnant. Don’t go there. It’s lonely there. You forget who you are, what your purpose is, and you lose sight of your true happiness.
So next time overwhelm bears it’s ugly head, give one of these 37 tips a try to reconnect with your badass self:
1. Be fearless
I love overcoming fear. I am still scared of a lot of things, but most are out of my control so I don’t give them much thought. I used to be quite a worrier, especially when my first three kids were younger. Now I can rationalize that fear much better. And that’s the thing. Most fear is irrational, yet we can’t escape it. But when we start listening to our fear, we become filled with doubt and then we fail to become who we really want to be.
We develop character through effort, struggle, and learning. Sure it’s hard to move past these doubts and uncertainties and put yourself in situations that are scary or make you feel exposed, but over time you will develop confidence in your beliefs and capabilities to succeed. Remember that consistently taking small steps to overcome fear will lead to big results.
When you struggle, think of children. They are curious. They don’t put too many expectations on themselves. They take pleasure in small things and can be happy in the moment. Find the child in you by taking risks without being attached to the outcome. For me, rationalizing fear comes down to thinking in terms of what’s the worst thing that can happen and what’s the best thing that can happen?
One of my favorite books about overcoming fear is The Rock Warriors Way.
2. Be a Questioner
Don’t believe everything you see and hear. It’s okay to follow some rules and go with the flow, but not if it doesn’t align with your purpose (or harm anyone). Be a reporter for your own life and ask frequently how, why, what, when, and where. Assimilate all you’ve learned to look at life with more perspective and look within for more knowledge. And if you can’t find the answer with in, dig deeper. Keep questioning. Be a fighter for your intentions, your goals, your happiness.
3. Be persistent
Persistence is the hardest step and usually where people quit because it’s not sexy, fun, or glamorous. Persistence really comes down to grinding it out. It’s being motivated to get up every day and work hard. It’s about not giving up because things aren’t as perfect as we want them to be. It’s a matter of using your desire, intention, and motivation to move through the hard, the tiring, and the boring so that you can make the jump from what you’ve always done to what you’ve always wanted.
Persistence guarantees that results are inevitable. -Paramahansa Yogananda
My favorite book on persistence is Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. This book is about so much more than getting rich. It’s about applying the tools and your skill set to whatever desires you want.
Purpose and planning, at least for me, aren’t that hard. But when it comes to blocking out any negative or discouraging influences and finding friends who will encourage me to achieve my goals, especially when my goals are outside the norm, well that gets a bit difficult. Find like minded friends who will keep you accountable and encourage you to fight for your dreams.
4. Tap Into Your Beast Mode
For Christmas this last year, my brother bought me a book called Discipline Equals Freedom: Field Manual by Jocko Willink. It’s a health and fitness book that mirrors a lot of my book A Playful Life and I found it strange and a little insulting that my brother got me a fitness book, What was he trying to say? I needed to workout more? Was he trying to compare my book to this one? What was he insinuation?
I kept the book mostly because Jocko does Jiu Jitsu and I figured Victor would like to pursue it at some time. However, that black textured cover caught my eye the next day and I couldn’t put it down. So if you don’t believe me about all this badass stuff, take it from Jocko.
Don’t worry about motivation. Motivation is fickle. It comes and it goes. It is unreliable and when you are counting on motivation to get your goals accomplished- you will likely fall short. So don’t expect to be motivated every day to get out there and make things happen. You won’t be. Don’t count on motivation. Count on Discipline. You know what you have to do. So MAKE YOURSELF DO IT. You do that with Discipline. Everyone wants some magic pill- some life hack- that eliminates the need to do the work. But that doesn’t exist. No. You have to do the work. You’ve go to hold the line. You’ve got to MAKE IT HAPPEN. So. Dig in. Find the Discipline. Be the Discipline. Accomplish.
I call this discipline…BEAST MODE. I operate on beast mode a lot. When I’m tired, I lie down for ten minutes and then I get up and start moving fast again. When I want to give up, I fight harder. When I’m overwhelmed, I rewrite my lists and make the tasks more manageable. When I’m scared to do a climb, I start with an easier one first. When I’m not sure if the surf is too big for me, I paddle out anyways and tell myself I can always come back in. When I’m hungry, I reach for healthy fats and protein. When I’m sad, I watch one of my favorite movies (Couples Retreat or Walter Mitty).
Be a beast. Attack your day on all fronts. if you don’t have the motivation, make it up. If life gets in the way, you reprioritize.
5. Be Able to Chillax
A big part of wellness and being badass is having the ablity to play, move, adventure with the intensity of fire and to also chill with the stillness of ice. When you play, do so with intensity and focus, but also allow yourself recover fully by being completely vested in the calmness and deepness of your breath. The ability to find stillness in your day, will open up epiphonies and help you manifest your greatness. Plus, the ability to challenge yourself fiercely, will help you be able to sit still long enough to ponder life’s deeper questions.
6. Be happiness independent
Victor and I got married very young and for a long time I did EVERYTHING with him. We’d run together, lift together, bike together, and work all day together. Then about seven years ago it got too hard to take all the kids to work so I stayed home and enjoyed being a mom. Victor went to work most days and we only saw each other an hour or so a day Monday through Saturday. I was bummed, but I was loving being a mom and that really was enough for me until one day he started doing Jiu Jitsu. I was crushed.
Here he was, going to exercise without me, and I took it personal. How dare he choose a sport I couldn’t or wouldn’t do? At the time, Tatiana was a baby and I felt a little trapped needing to stay home with all the kids while Victor went and played, but like I said, being a good mom was important to me so I focused on that.
This story is long and I won’t bore you today with the details, but as you know, seven years later, I go to yoga, surf, rock climb, hike, etc all by myself and love it.
Sure sometimes he joins me, but I don’t need him to in order for me to feel good doing these activities. Granted that with five kids I’m rarely alone and just the alone time probably makes me feel rejuvenated, but I do think it took a lot of growth on my part to figure out how I could create my own happiness.
Whether it’s exercise, play, or career, finding the things that fulfill us, complete us, or instill confidence in us is VERY important.
The more I can create my own happiness, the better I feel about myself and the better vibe I can bring to the world. And when I am happy, it rubs off on the people around me.
7. Rearrange Things
What we surround ourselves with is so important. I like to arrange and rearrange my life on a regular basis. When we lived in a house, that often meant moving physical objects around until they felt organized to me. As a nomad, it’s a matter of physically moving where I wake up.
I noticed that once I start moving my stuff around, my brain starts to organize all it’s thoughts into place and as I travel more, my creativity feels infinite.
Notice if that happens to you too. After you clean or reorganize, set aside thirty minutes to write down what’s on your mind or work through whatever it is thats been stirring your mind. We tend to rush through our lives and ignore those “what if” or “I wonder” or better yet “I really want to” thoughts and so we don’t give these thoughts time to resonate and pursue them further to see where they could go.
8. Heighten your awareness
Notice everything. Bring awareness to what’s important, how you move, what you say, who you say it to, and what you’re thinking and feeling. By taking time to notice more of both of yourself and your surroundings, you can start to identify what obstacles are getting in your way or not helping you move to badass status. For me, this is constantly on the forefront of my mind day in and day out because I too am aware of how often I am messing up daily. But the coolest part of awareness is that it becomes an interruption to our rushed tendencies. It forces us to acknowledge where, who, what, when, and how we want to be.
Attention is awareness heightened and focused, the intentional directing of awareness.-Rock Warriors Way
9. Trust in karma
If you prioritize kindness and goodness for human kind, it’s amazing the opportunities that open up for you. We’ve zeroed out our bank account many times and it’s all worked out in the end. I’m not saying I don’t worry often, but when I catch myself moving toward that panicky feeling, I stop and hone into my intentions, visualize my bhavada, and trust that if I keep trying to contribute to the world in a kind, loving, and positive way, the universe will send love back my way.
10. Listen to Your Dirty Emotions
Ever open up social media and think I don’t like that person! or OMG! I can’t believe they posted that? How about do you ever catch yourself justifying why you can’t or won’t do something? Ever feel like a bad mom, dad, daughter, son, wife, husband, brother, sister, coworker, etc? Ever lose your temper?
We all feel jealous, guilty, or angry at times. It’s completely normal and great emotions to have becasue they are huge indicators of where we wish we were spending our time doing or becoming. Next time those dirty emotions bear their ugly head think about why, and then ask yourself why again and again and again and again and again…until you can get to the root of what it is your really want or really feel is missing in your life.
11. Downsize your Life
I knew I wanted to travel but needed money so the obvious choice was to downsize our life so we could save. But all of a sudden, once we downsized, things became clearer about what made us happy and we really wanted out of our life. Now you don’t need to go to that extreme, but it is good to look at what things you could downsize on or let go of so you can create the space for what you truly want to evolve into.
It could easily be a function of creating more time in your schedule to take care of yourself and that might be in the form of committing to less. Less meetings, less practices, less obligations.
It could be a function of downsizing the amount of stuff you have. All those boxes, old pictures, memories that one day we might have time to go through. Sure they may be sitting in the back of the closet, but they are still a weight and a responsibility that is limiting a future chore.
I recommend reading the book The life-changing magic of tidying up. The whole premise is to look at everything you own and ask “Does this spark joy?” Then, take it one step further and tell you to ask yourself “Does this align with the actions that are most valuable to me?”
We often hold onto a lot of stuff in our house with the thought of someday I might… but in reality, by taking care of ourselves (physically and mentally) we can be more creative and in doing so our value and earning potential increases. Take it from me…It can usually be replaced, you actually don’t miss it, and IMO it’s not worth weighing yourself down with clutter just because someday you may need it.
12. Have a Creative Outlet
There is another way you can increase your skill set and that is through creative self development. Create something, take dance classes, get artsy, start writing, whatever form of self expression that will get you more motivated to be your best and accomplish your goals. This can also include sports or what I call “play”. This is more than just working out. Play is any sport or activity that gets you in your flow or that you have so much fun doing that you just lose all sense of time when you are doing it.
13. Improve Your Self Care
While trying to improve your mental game, self care can make all the difference in your success. Eat right, get plenty of rest, get a lot of movement, and do the right exercises. With our personal training programs we are always teaching people to work smarter, not just harder. For example, how a huge part of weight loss isn’t about starving yourself, it’s about leveraging your hormones so that your body becomes a fat burning machine. Drink more water, less alcohol, eat more veggies, sit less, walk often, lift heavy, play frequently, sleep soundly, and laugh a lot.
14. Up Your EI
Improve your emotional intelligence (EI) or how you react to people and the world around you by…
- being kind and fair in relationships
- managing your expectations of others (you can only control yourself)
- detachment to things out of your control
- practicing acceptance and gratitude
- calming your mind with your breath
- using all your senses (meditation can help here)
- most of all, a willingness to grow.
15. Travel More
I may have mental issues (if you haven’t noticed already) because often at night when everyone has gone to bed, I get out my phone and seriously stare at Google maps scheming where I want to go next. If I’m lucky to be in cell service range, I also open up a few of my favorite apps–Pinterest, the Outbound, Magic Seaweed, AllStays, Trail Forks, and Mountain Project– to add to my scheming. I am always planning multiple trips at a time (I have the next two years planned already!) because it keeps me focused on my own dreams and heightens my motivation.
I encourage you to make time and set aside money to travel more. You can do it very cheaply, but honestly, every penny is worth it. Travel creates experiences that you really can’t put a dollar value on.
People don’t take trips–trips take people. -John Steinbeck
16. Immerse Yourself in the Elements
Have you ever gone camping?
Did you know that when I met Victor, he had never camped before and that we didn’t take our first camping trip until after our fourth child was born?! People who knew us before that are always surprised when I tell them what we do now because they thought I’d never be able to turn my husband into an RVer. If you have never camped, you’re in luck! We have tons of blogs and videos with helpful tips on getting started camping and road tripping.
If you aren’t ready to camp, then get out on trails and hike or bike. The wilderness is one of the best places to draw out your inner badass and motivate you to chase your dreams.
17. Make It Easier
One of the easiest ways to be persistent is to set up your environment for success. We are drawn to things that are easy, therefore, if you make the right choice the easy choice you will be more successful.
For example, if your fridge is only full of healthy choices, it will be much easier to eat foods that will serve your purpose of looking and feeling good. If you are constantly running out of time to workout, take a closer look at your schedule and look where you can create fifteen minute time gaps to squeeze in a workout. If you feel overwhelmed and lack motivation, set up a yoga mat and pillows on the floor by your bed so that you are more likely to start or end your day with some breathing exercises, meditation, or light stretching.
Make the good choice the easy choice. Remember, 365 days is a lot of days, but you need to make the most of each one!
- What are you drawn to because it’s easy, convenient, or habitual, but not helping you get closer to your dreams?
- What can you do to overcome this inertia?
- What habits can you create?
- How can you change your environment?
18. Up your Skill Set
One of the best ways to become a badass is by gaining more knowledge. I spend hours and hours a day learning new skills. A badass skill set will put you in the drivers seat of your life. Where are your skills at currently and where would you like to see them improve? Are you good with people? Are you an expert at something? Do you have good researching skills? Are you highly organized? What skills could you learn or attain to make something come easier for you? Finding people and resources that can help you have more options in your life.
19. Give Yourself Rest Days
I love Sundays! Sundays give me a chance to catch my breath and get reorganized. I love when I don’t have to go anywhere on Sundays (except the beach if the surf is firing).
How about you? Do you make time on Sundays or any other day of the week to allow yourself to rest, move at a slower pace, dilly dally, go off on tangents like spending an hour reorganizing your junk drawer, doodle on paper, curl up with a good book, make to-do lists, travel plans, bucket lists, write letters to a friend, play board games with your kids, or anything else that helps you lower your stress and improve your overall sense of well being?
I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to have at least half of one day to just BE. No agenda. No I have to. No rushing allowed.
I guess some people call that “sitting in front of the TV and vegging out” but then you aren’t really nurturing much of yourself. Sure an occasional movie is great, but what I’m talking about is allowing yourself space in the day to move through the spaces in your body, your mind, and especially in your environment.
20. Align With Your Values
Redefining your interactions and experiences in life can be applied in many forms. As you identify factors that serve you, find ways to surround yourself with like minded souls and people who you look up to. Notice what values they possess that you want to integrate more into your life.
For example, we needed a house to keep us warm and honestly, I loved my house. But when I started looking at my values, I had to take a step back and think about what about my house did I need. For me, it was… warmth, comfort, a sign of success, entertaining friends and family, a sanctuary. But then I asked myself, “Are there other ways I can get this same feeling?”
When I looked at what I valued most, adventure, movement, growth, happiness. I realized my house wasn’t exactly creating this. I then looked at what I spent most of my time doing at home (cooking/cleaning/organizing). Then I looked at what I did at home that made me happy (reading & writing). I realized I could still cook for my family in an RV, I could read and write more, and I could have more adventures. I’d be giving up some comfort (and I definitely would lose the sign of success). I gave up entertaining, but when I go to parties, I feel so much happier and light that the trade off was worth it.
My sanctuary use to be a couch and a bed. Now it’s a different bed, my yoga mat, and a hammock. For so long, I thought a house would make me feel “taken care of”, but in the end it made me less secure because of the price of the responsibility.
21. Understand Your Past
One of my favorite books is The Zahir by Paulo Coehlo. In it, he talks about how important it is to talk about your past and repeat your story frequently because it allows you to release the bad energy of it. Okay, he’s much more poetic about it, but hopefully the idea of not storing bad feelings inside your body makes sense. I only recommend things for my program that I really believe in and I can tell you this one has helped me a lot. Even if we aren’t carrying around major trauma, we all have a tendency to feel not heard or that some points in our life maybe weren’t fair. We’ve all made mistakes and learning to forgive ourselves, as well as others, will definitely help you feel lighter and live more playfully.
History repeats itself and by reflecting on where you’ve been, you will know where you want to go. If you had to write an autobiography, what it would say? Are there parts that you might be hanging onto that no longer serve you.
Take some time and reflect on what events, feelings, and situations got you to this crossroads today. Try not to beat yourself up too much, but at the same time, be honest with yourself. Think about all the great things you’ve done. Adventures you’ve had. The people you’ve enjoyed spending time with. The risks you took. Then, look at the flaws. In yoga, they often say, “You are exactly where you are supposed to be.” Instead of beating yourself up for past failures, look at what you could learn from them. Be honest with yourself and look deeper into why you did the things you did at the time, regardless of if you think they were good or bad.
22. Maximize Your productivity window
When you are most productive? For me, this is mornings (as long as it doesn’t interfere with a good nights sleep). Now I’ve been aware of this for a while and have scripted my day with this intention. I don’t do well waking to an alarm, but when I wake up I want to be surfing, climbing, or writing right away.
Try to do the things you enjoy most at the times you are most productive.
23. Add good stress
I may be the first to tell you stress is good. I love stress, but it has to be a special type of stress for me. I like the stress that keeps me from slacking off and helps me stay focused on my goals. I love the stress that my sports give me. I hate the stress that feeling boxed in or trapped does to me. That’s probably the worst stress I can have. I need to feel in charge, like I have a choice. If my stress is a direct result of desire, motivation, and action, I can usually handle it. If it’s a result of others expectations then I’m doomed.
Why would anyone want stress? Basically, because without stress, we become bored, apathetic, indifferent. We need something that gets us in our zone and keeps our attention. Good stress will leave you feeling energized, inspired, and focused.
You’ll see it in the spark in your eyes and the spring in your step.
What type of stress do you not want? Any type of stress that will lead to burnout. If you start to feel worried, anxious, depressed, overwhelmed, weak, or have trouble focusing then you want to back off and reevaluate your stress and try to get it from better “sources”. Your physical body will give you big cues if your stress is not good stress. You will have trouble losing weight, your libido will be low, you’ll get sick often, you’ll have trouble managing your blood sugar, and you’ll start losing muscle.
Like the picture below, I like my stress to be just under my wellness level. I feel most productive hovering here. Depending on your personality, coping techniques, and support system, you may need to keep your stress level a little lower in order to feel good. I also try to flood my wellness side of the scale with as many positive actions and affirmations as I can to help boost my wellness so it stays right above my stress level.
I spend a lot of time outdoors and in nature. I try to do yoga three times a week, and when I can’t, I try to make time to sit and breathe or meditate. I have a husband who gives me great massages and young kids who love to cuddle. I play a lot. All these things are either positive stresses for me or boosts for my wellness that help me cope with the negative stress that I do have.
So what can you do?
- Have a good attitude.
- Get better at coping.
- Set more time aside for wellness boosters.
- As a family, we always talk about “filling our tanks”. Meaning we try to make sure each of us feels fulfilled.
- Stay focused on your goals and action plan.
- Enjoy the process and when you get scared, think of the worst possible scenario. Then, think of the best possible one.
- And above all, love yourself.
24. Create Action Plans
Having a plan is the key to success. If you don’t believe me, take it from Chris Rock. I’m constantly annoying my husband by asking, “What’s your plan?” (He’s not amused).
Yes, I’m a planner and like to break my plans up into long term, mid-term, and short-term action plans. I have notes labeled “To Do Today” “To Do This Week” “To Do This Month” “To Do When I Have A Free Moment”
For business, I look at where I want it to be six months from now and list all the actions that will need to be done to get there, then I breakdown those tasks into monthly and weekly goals with the day to day steps I need to make it happen.
Give it a try. Keep it realistic and manageable, but make sure you are trying something every day (even if you fail) to get closer to your dreams.
If you catch yourself without a minute to spare, you will need to track your day carefully with this 168_Hours.pdf for the next week and figure out first, where you are spending your time and second, what you want to do more of and things you want to do less of, and third, what can you let go of or reprioritize?
25. Visualize the Steps
When I teach kids to do a back handspring I have to say the exact same thing in ten different ways depending on who I’m working with, how they learn, what they actually hear me say, where they are at their life physically and mentally. And I’m talking about a child. Seriously, adults are way worse. We have emotional trauma and societal expectations that cloud our ability to listen, think, and make appropriate judgements and decisions. But hey, at least we are trying right?!
So while you are trying to figure out how to implement the actions you need to do to move closer to what you want, I thought I’d throw in a diagram to help you visualize the steps needed to go from desire to action to feeling satisfied with your accomplishments. For some things, it may take only a few days to go through this circle. For other things, it may take months or more.
It’s one thing to bring awareness to your goals, desires, needs, fears, etc, but taking the step from thinking to doing is where the real magic happens.
26. Check things off your lists
You have an action plan and are visualizing it, but are you actually checking things off the list? Or better yet, do you feel like your list never ends? By actually checking things off a physical list, you not only stay accountable to yourself, but you also get the satisfaction of seeing that you are getting things done even when it feels like the list never ends.
27. Seek out new experiences
When was the last time you harnessed your inner Bilbo Baggins and went on an adventure? When was the last time you challenged yourself or created a new experience? When was the last time something really excited you? Like goose bumps excited? What’s been on your bucket list for so long that you’ve given up hope on it?
Something that shows the universe you are turning over a new leaf.
Go big. Live boldly. Shoot for the stars. Be brave. Act spontaneous. Force your brain to create new neural pathways!
28. Say NO
You know this one, yet it’s so hard to actually put this into effect in your life, right?! I know it is for me at least.
It’s not easy to say “NO” or to put up boundaries on what others expect from us. This especially true when it comes to family. We love our families, but for a lot of people, being around family pigeon holds us to certain roles and identities. I know for me, when I walk into a family social gathering there is a force much greater at work that has me locked into a past identity or their expectations for who they want me to be. Even worse, they have no intention in doing that. I think it’s just that most people are so overwhelmed with work and responsibility that they don’t even know this is happening. They want the best for me, but are still stuck in their own narrow reality.
You can’t get sucked back in. You have dreams to live and goals to accomplish. Many of which the world won’t understand. They don’t have to. If it makes sense to you, that’s enough.
There are many times when saying “no” to an obligation is best, especially as you are first trying to work through your own “whys” and desires. Eventually, as you get a firm grasp on what you want from your life and are fulfilling your own happiness, then you will be able to redefine your interactions and set boundaries for what keeps you in line with your values. It’s incredible that when you are at a good place for yourself, your tolerance and acceptance of others increases exponentially. I find that the best part is when you start prioritizing your time and your needs, you open yourself up to opportunities that will get you further down the path you choose.
29. Prioritize 15 min recharges
Seriously, this is where champions are made.
If you can have a clear cut picture of what you want to accomplish or create and you have it outlined in tangible steps, you will be amazed at what you can do in fifteen minute intervals! I’ve written three books in 15 minutes. I’ve written courses and many, many blog posts in 15 minutes. I’ve read books in 15 minutes that have redefined who I am and inspired me to keep pushing forward and never settle. I’ve planned trips all around the world and deep into my own back yard in fifteen minutes.
Trust me, find fifteen minutes at least once a day (if not more). When you get horizontal, your parasympathetic system kicks in. Your breathing slows down. Your mind starts to think clearer. Before you know it, inspiration and clarity will be flooding your body. You can create an immense amount of wellness in 15 minutes. If you lie down for 15 minutes and can’t keep your eyes open, it’s time for some adrenal repair. It’s okay to be occasionally tired, but it’s not okay to constantly so tired you can’t work towards something bigger. Take care of your body and these 15 minute intervals will close the gap between your goals remaining a dream and becoming a reality.
Related Blog: 7 Easy and Cheap Tricks To Improve Your Adrenal Function
Take inventory on your “stuff”. I’m not saying to get rid of everything you own and be a nomad, but I have experienced a huge shift in my energy and focus by eliminating the nonessentials and clutter that used to surround me.
We are consumers. But we don’t just consume, we accumulate, store, and stock up on so much stuff.
Look at everything you interact with in your daily life and take a moment to notice if it brings you joy. Then walk through your house and notice how much stuff you don’t interact with in your daily life. When was the last time you used or looked at all the things in your closets and garage?
Then, make an effort to stop buying. Instead, try spending more time in nature and with people you love.
31. Let The Baggage Go
We all have it. We all a carrying around emotions and memories that no longer serve us. They don’t help us wake up excited. Instead, that baggage weighs us down, makes us drag our feet, causes us to confuse past scenarios with what’s actually in front of us, make decisions based on fear and guilt, etc etc etc.
When you practice acceptance, compassion, and forgiveness, you let go of that baggage and can regain a zip in you step, you smile more, you laugh often, and you live with a stoke that makes you excited to wake up and live each day to the fullest.
This doesn’t have to be a complicated process. For most things you just choose to not give these past emotions energy. You redirect your thoughts in a proactive way to the things that do matter. You let the little things roll off your shoulders. You focus more on your own actions and intentions and ignore a lot of the emotions coming at you. You find like-minded souls and dig deeper into the things that matter to you most.
I loved the book Live A Thousand Years to help me let go of all the baggage I was carrying around.
32. Rephrase Your Story
You can’t be a badass if you keep telling yourself:
- I would do all of this but, I don’t have time.
- In theory this is good, however this is just not for me.
- It’s not in my nature.
- I don’t have what it takes.
Go ahead… make a list of all the other self deprecating, self limiting, negative thoughts that keep arising in your head. Get them all out. Feel better?
Now, I want you to focus on INCREASING YOUR VIBRATION.
When I teach yoga, I always tell newbies that yoga is not about flexibilty or even alignment, it’s about breathing. Connecting with the energy of the breath. Connecting with the vibrations of your cells. Use the breath to exhale out past emotions. Use it to let go of your failures, your regrets, your mistakes, your past.
Then, use the inhale to fill your mind with the future you want. The future you are scripting. The attitude you want to be seen for. The coping mechanisms you now have. Fill your mind and paper with miracles, abundance, and confidence.
You ARE. You CAN. You WILL.
In addition, don’t let society sway you or feed into your negative thought process. Are any of your negative thought patterns the result of a conditioned response. Meaning, things you were told to do, expected to do, or did just because everyone else did.
Now, pretend you are wearing blinders. You can’t see what your neighbor is doing. You don’t know what is going on half way around the world. You don’t know what your future holds yet. You can only see what is right in front of you at this precise moment.
- What would you use blinders for?
- Where’s your perspective coming from?
- Is it coming from within?
Extract yourself from the any negative thought pattern and see what makes you smile, laugh, breathe.
33. Be who you want your kids to be
This saying can make such a difference in your life. I know because I try to live by it often and it becomes a bit of a moral compass for me. My kids are such a reflection of Victor and I. When I notice bad behaviors, I don’t say “where did you learn that from?” I know right away that it’s the message I’ve been sending and I’m quick to work on correcting it.
Everyone has issues and I’m sure that as conscientious as I try to be, there are ways I’m creating some myriad of issues for my own kids. But I remind myself daily that self awareness is the first step in change and I can say I am raising very self aware children. Successful? I can’t say. But they are aware of their intentions, actions, and consequences of those actions.
We can’t raise kids based on the Do What I Say Not What I Do premise so try to be aware of the message you are sending your kids. If you notice things that don’t align with what you want for your kids, don’t beat yourself up. Just start instilling the correct message. I’m sure there are a lot of great qualities that your kids have picked up from you. Make sure you take time to acknowledge those too and practice self love for instilling that quality in them.
I know people who have lots of ideas and dogmas on raising kids, but have no kids of their own. Parenting is a full time job. There’s no rule book here either and it feels like the second you have one thing figured out, another changes. Any good quality is a result of a lot of time, patience, and persistence.
34. Keep changing
Have you read the book Who Moved My Cheese? If you need help accepting change, this is a great book. There is no way to get around the fact that our world is constantly changing and the faster you can adapt, the better chance you will have at achieving your goals. Be your badass self and learn to go with the flow. Try practicing a little more detachment to how you think things should be and accept how some things are. And never feel like you deserve things. Everything takes effort and life’s not designed to be fair.
35. Keep track
It’s easier to change things that we measure. If you just go by feel, sometimes it’s hard to know where to start. but if you are measuring and tracking your results, you have more information to base descisions on. It also helps you not live in denial.
A decade ago, I was talking to a man who had just returned from living for a year in Costa Rica and he was talking about how hard it was adjusting back to life in the States. He was mainly referring to the quantity of decisions we have to make on a daily basis. At the time, I hadn’t traveled much and the places I had traveled to were still in the U.S. and typically bigger cities or touristy areas. I really didn’t know what he meant.
Then, a few years ago, we started traveling to off the beaten path places in Central America, Europe, Bali, New Zealand, and in the U.S. I finally understood what he meant.
When I disconnect from the typical hustle and bustle of society, my decision making process dramatically shrinks. Do I want to cook breakfast now or after I climb? Do we have food for dinner? What book do I want to curl up with after my hike?
Most of the places we find ourselves in have one grocery store. In the store, there is one toothpaste option, one brand of toilet paper, only local produce. The decision making process is easy.
Gabi, who writes half the blogs on our nomads website, tells me how she can’t write blogs when we are in San Diego. I too have the same problem. It’s as if my brain is so overwhelmed with stimulus from traffic to the bombardment of marketing being thrown at us both visually and auditorally. It’s a lot of noise to filter through. I find that dropping out of cell phone range has been one of the best gifts I’ve given myself and my kids. I invite you to disconnect more. Disconnect in small chunks on a regular basis and disconnect for a week every year. You might not be a writer, but all humans need creativity in their life. You have to tap into those creative juices or your soul becomes stagnant and dull and that is very “un”badass-like.
36. Forget Regret
I can’t say this word without thinking of the movie We Are The Millers. If you’ve seen it, you know what I am talking about. No regret? Not even one letter? haha!
Regret sucks. Because just like baggage, it causes us to live in the past and not tackle the present with our full awareness. And while you can’t fully escape regret, you can redefine it’s role in your life. In fact, you can even come to appreciate it as a wonderful tool to happiness.
Regret means you messed up, you failed, you made a bad choice. Which means regret is one of the best teachers. It reminds us of intention, motivation, and action.
One of the best ways to combat regret is with strength and knowledge. When you find yourself feeling regret, stop and ask yourself…
- How could I have handled that better?
- If I had a better understanding, would I have behaved differently?
- Can I improve my skill set to do better in the future?
- Is this scenario aligning with my intention?
- This list could go on and on.
Flip regret into a positive and see how much better it can help you be your badass self.
37. Embrace Failure
If you failed, you tried. Just like regret, failure can be one of the best teachers.. One of my favorite sayings is “You miss 100% of the waves you don’t paddle on.” Seriously, I get way more tired from paddling on the waves I miss because typically the ones I miss weren’t good to begin with, but I read it wrong or the wave changed at the last minute. But there are so many great rides I have had from waves that I did paddle on at the last moment or went for even knowing ahead of time that they more than likely would not stand up enough for me. Oh those wonderful rides! Few things in life compare to the stoke I get surfing and so I’ve learned to paddle my ass off any chance I can.
Now, that doesn’t mean the same as paddling out into crappy or dangerous surf. This is about giving 100% to the things that are within your means or just outside your skill set. It’s going for the challenge knowing you have a chance. It’s living life not wondering What If. If you just sit and wonder, ruminate, and think of all the possibilities, nothing will happen.
All successful people fail. And fail often. But they also persist. Evaluate what went wrong. And keep trying. I encourage you to allow yourself to mess up, but don’t allow yourself to quit. It will eventually work with the right mindset.
38. Stop Waiting for the stars to align perfectly
More importantly than not trying, is not hesitating. I see this happen a lot especially when it comes to adventure or travel. People talk about what they may do one day, but aren’t willing to try today. We think about it. We talk about it. We tell people we’re going to do it. But then we don’t.
So often we think little things are much bigger than they really are. We put them off until there’s deeper desire, more time, more money. Always remember that the little thing is just that, a little thing. Starting is always the hardest part, but it doesn’t have to be. Don’t let overwhelm win anymore. Start with one small task today.
Make lists. Create actionable steps. Check things off one item at a time. You’ll be amazed at what you can do in just a few minutes, multiple times a day.Life’s short. If it is worth it, do it now because you may not get the opportunity again and the learning curve may be long which means you need all the time you can get to fail, learn, try, and succeed.
If you hesitate, you may miss your opportunity. It’s the people who are constantly trying something every day that eventually hit the jackpot.
39. Find the Silver Lining
Last, find the silver lining in everything. Success doesn’t happen by doing big things. It happens by doing a lot of little things that lead to big results. Focus on the small sucesses and magnify them over time.